The FUPA have FUPAHEROES. Much like regular superheroes, the FUPAHEROES possess many of the same powers and weaponry, only they are used to promote the lifestyle of the FUPA and not to fight against crime.
Today, we shall describe some of the powers and weapons used by FUPAWOMAN. She possesses superfupa strength and durability which she uses in her mastery of the All-You-Can-Eat buffet. Faster than a corn dog rolling downhill and able to leap tall mounds of mashed potatoes in a single bound, FUPAWOMAN uses her handbag to stash shrimp and corn fritters by creating a diversion through dressing provocatively and shooting Skittles from her breasts. Her gold bracelet is used like a magnet to pick up whoopie pies as she passes by the dessert bar. Her bouffant hair style is the perfect size and shape to stash an entire Thanksgiving dinner to be eaten long after the buffet has closed.
Should you encounter FUPAWOMAN at your local buffet do not attempt to cut in front of her. The average buffet patron is no match for the seductive powers of FUPAWOMAN. One noxious spray of her aphrodisiac methane gas will render you powerless to fight back as she removes all of the food from your plate onto hers.
